I've caught you in your feminsim... (part 2)

... oh, yes I have.

This series is dedicated to the those who claim that they're not feminists, yet have feminists ideals. To those who want nothing to do with feminism, YET believe in the core principles of feminism. To those who are so determined to stay out feminism. To those that give me so much shit about being a feminist and for standing my ground on my beliefs. To those same people that secretly believe in the same equality that I do, even if they are completely oblivious to it.

This is my little, "HAHA" in your face for catching you in your feminism.

My male friend and I were texting and this is how it went:

Friend: Its quite interesting really, how much our federal government pays to make sure teachers teach only abstinence.

Me: I know, right?! Feminism. :)

Friend: What the fuck does that have to do with feminism?

Me: That's a part of feminism. I'm going to write about you in my blog now. (I'm awful, aren't I?)

Friend: That is not feminism. That's something about the public school system. It's not like it's taught to only girls, you dolt.

And the conversation stopped after that point because he is completely impossible. Why I chose to make him a part of this series is because comprehensive and holistic sexual education is a huge part of the feminist agenda, whether he thinks so or not.

Feminists have been fighting, and continue to do so, for every woman's right to choose. Feminists have made it a point to call out our government for the poor, and lack of, proper sexual education in our public school system. Personally, as a feminist, sexual education is one of the biggest issues I struggle with, and advocate for.

And he's right, abstinence-only sex education isn't just being taught to girls. Girls and boys, alike, are being subjected to false, inaccurate claims and "facts" regarding sexual health. This isn't just an issue about and for girls. Feminism, as defined by any dictionary, is basically the equality between genders, and don't worry, Friend, we aren't leaving the boys out on this one.

Young girls are feminists, too!

Just last weekend, I had the pleasure of babysitting my young cousins, all of whom were super eager and excited to see me. Simply put, they are the cutest, most thoughtful little girls I know - and I'm not just saying that because we're related. Well, maybe I am, but I'm allowed to be biased.

Now, these girls have grown up with almost everything pink. They love to play Barbies and they're just over the moon about the Disney Princesses. They're obsessed with anything that involves high heels, make up, and jewelry. And to be honest, what young girl isn't? Such things, as a child, are just intriguing and totally cool!

Hanging out with my girlies is always such a treat. They're always teaching me new things and never fail to keep me informed on "what's cool" now-a-days (because apparently, I'm old and totally out of the loop). They make me smile and laugh more than any other children can, and spending time with them really makes me want to have children (someday) that are just as spunky and awesome as they are.

Now, to the point of this blog entry. We were having a nice lunch, seated in the kitchen at their counter. All four girls (ages 11, 9, 6, 4) were sitting so nicely and eating their lunches and chatting about school projects. As a feminist, and a curious person, I enjoy listening to other people (and in this case, children) about the conversations they're having in relation to feminism and gender. I just happened to have been listening at the right time because they were now on the topic of Disney Princesses.

Maddie, the eldest, then said what every feminist wants to hear in regards to body image and the perception of beauty.

"Jenna, the princesses are so perfect and so skinny. I just don't understand why because no one really looks like that. It's kind of gross. I can't ever look like that because if I did, I would look unhealthy." Then my heart started to melt. And just like that, I had faith in the younger generations in relation to their body image. I had faith that the younger generations of women would be able to develop POSITIVE BODY IMAGE, in spite of the media messages that suggest otherwise.

The best part of our conversation was that the younger girls, Abby, Paige, and even the four-year-old, Mya, agreed with their eldest sister! I was so thrilled! There was conversation about beauty and how beauty isn't defined by a fictional character. I just participated in the conversation as a listener, with the occasional head-nod and the ever present "Mmhmmm."

Part of me wanted to take each one in my arms and tell them that with that attitude, they could save a whole generation of women from negative body image. I wanted to compliment them on noticing how these Disney Princesses are flawed in so many ways, but I didn't.

For me, the fact that these girls can, and do, promote positive body image at these ages is completely surprising and invigorating. Young girls should be taught how to love their bodies just the way they are. They should be calling out the media messages that they're consuming (i.e. Disney Princess movies).

I didn't reach out and commend those little badass girls because then that would've opened up the dialogue for why I was complimenting them. What they were saying about Disney's perception of beauty was spot on, and to congratulate them on making those valid critiques would've, in turn, made them question whether or not such claims are normal and accurate - which they are! I will not give praise when it is not needed.

Young girls of all ages should be taught how to consume mass media and what to look for, such as positive and negative aspects of advertising, using women's bodies as a medium for advertising, and in those girls' case, how seriously to take those Disney Princesses.

They made my heart grow with their words and gave me hope. They gave me hope that one day, they'll be just as feminist as I am. They gave me hope that they'll remain themselves, even when faced with unrealistic expectations of how and who they're supposed to be. I love them so much.

I've caught you in your feminism...

... oh, yes I have.

So, I've just decided (as of ten minutes ago) that I'm doing a new series called, "I've Caught You in Your Feminism." This series is dedicated to the those who claim that they're not feminists, yet have feminists ideals. To those who want nothing to do with feminism, YET believe in the core principles of feminism. To those who are so determined to stay out feminism. To those that give me so much shit about being a feminist and for standing my ground on my beliefs. To those same people that secretly believe in the same equality that I do, even if they are completely oblivious to it.


This is my little, "HAHA" in your face for catching you in your feminism.

How it happened:

My sister, whom I love dearly and whom isn't very supportive of my feminism, was explaining how her boyfriend's mother was giving them a "sex" talk. The sex talk was religiously driven and my sister didn't really care for it. She was ranting and raving about how she was angry she was, and then it happened...

She placed her left hand on her hip, and the other in the air very matter-of-factly and stated, "No one is going to tell me what to do with my body!"

Cue the finger-pointing and the "I told you so" from me that ensued there after.

Women on Wednesday: High Heels, Lipstick, and Sex

Today I had the privilege of speaking on a panel for our campus's Women on Wednesday series. Women on Wednesday is our Women's Center signature noon-hour lecture series covering a current theme each semester, this Spring, the topic being "Change Makers: Young Women Speak Out." The topic today, High Heels, Lipstick, and Sex, was quite a provocative one and we were very happy with the number of listeners we had.

I figured that since noon is a pretty difficult time for any students to make a commitment, other than lunch, I would post some of the questions that we discussed and what my '"talking points" were. Also, the session was podcasted and will be posted to the Women's Center website, so be on the lookout for that if you're interested.

High Heels, Lipstick and Sex

1.      Do you identify as a feminist? If yes, when did you?  And what does being a feminist mean to you?

·         Yes

·         Being a feminist means that everything just makes sense to me. All the issues surrounding my life and that I’m constantly immersed in suddenly have meaning, explanations, and reasoning for why I feel the way I do. Being a feminist means not being alone. It means collaboration and discussion about activism and how to change people’s perception about gender and the issues that we, as women, face on a daily basis. It means informing and educating others about what’s going on in the world; it means creating awareness on how to prevent issues that are relevant to the overall quality of life regarding all women. Feminism just isn’t a part of my life, it is my life.

2.      What are the contradictions about social messages of who you are supposed to be, what you’re supposed to wear (high heels, lipstick), how much sex you’re allowed to have (and who they are allowed to have it with)?

·         There are underlying contradictions everywhere in our society, so I’ll just name the top three that I’m faced with on a daily basis.

·         Women are always supposed to be beautiful.

                                                              i.      Make up – we’re not regarded as “pretty” if we’re not wearing it, but men (because that’s who we’re supposed to impress, right?) so often claim that they would much rather see us without make up, why do we still wear it? Because it makes you feel pretty? Why?

                                                            ii.      Clothing – media representation of women basically says that we should be wearing leather mini-skirts and stilettos 24/7, but the minute we do, we’re called “sluts” or “whores.” You know, and it’s even gone to the extreme that when women are sexually assaulted or raped, society has begun to blame our clothing options – saying that we were asking for it, or we should’ve expected it.

                                                          iii.      Shaving

·         Body image

                                                              i.      We’re supposed to be thin, but when we’re too thin we’re called “anorexic.” You know, or we’re supposed to have curves, but watch out, if you exceed a size 12, or heaven forbid a size 14, you’re not longer considered beautiful, you’re fat.

                                                            ii.      Or perhaps the ad campaigns that promote “positive body image,” such as Dove, but yet, they have the nerve to cell cellulite removal cream or skin lightening products. Don’t be fooled.

·         Sex

                                                              i.      Women are told to stay virgins for as long as possible, but when the big moment finally arrives, we’re supposed to know exactly what to do in order to please our male partners.

3.      What is the biggest contradiction you struggle with as a woman who believes in feminist ideals?

·         Sex

                                                              i.      Young women are being sold the idea that we can’t make our own decisions about sex, and this stems back to abstinence-only sex education from high school.

                                                            ii.      Jessica Valenti wrote this great book, Full Frontal Feminism, and she basically says that women aren’t supposed to be having sex, you know, until they’re married, or only if it’s for procreation, and only with another girl if guys can watch. Basically, if we’re not doing it the way other people want, we’re just not supposed to be engaging in that sort of activity.

                                                          iii.      Misconception or stereotype that feminists hate sex (or that you’re a lesbian since we all supposedly hate men), which is just that, a stereotype. Feminism basically says that it’s okay to make decisions about your sexuality for yourself. In fact, feminism, and feminists alike, encourage you to take control of your own sexuality, claim it as yours, no one else’s, and I understand how difficult that is, but once you can grasp that aspect of your life, it’s completely empowering and invigorating.

                                                           iv.      I have been actively participating in my own sexuality, and that basically just means that I’m not having sex. I am choosing, I am the one making the decisions. To quote Valenti, “Because when it comes down to it, what’s more important than being able to do what you want with your body without fear of being shamed or punished?” Feminism wants you to have fun, because sex just isn’t about making babies these days, despite all the messages in the media that suggest otherwise.

                                                             v.      The issue of sex also encompasses the whole “birth control” debacle. For some reason, society wants us all in the dark about how to prevent unwanted pregnancies; you know, for example, abstinence-only sex education. Feminism is fighting, and is continuing to fight for the right over complete control over our bodies, whether that means the right to use birth control, or to have a safe legal abortion.

                                                           vi.      Sex is a very touchy subject in different areas of conversation, but feminism isn’t afraid to acknowledge and combat those contradictions. Sex should be talked about, and feminists love doing the talking.

4.      Do you believe women exercise self determination and personal agency in spite of all of these complexities and contradictions?

·         Yes, I know that there women who are consciously making decisions and know why they are making them. For example, make up. I know that by wearing makeup, I’m fueling the beauty industry and buying into idea of America’s warped perception of beauty. Do I still wear make up? Yes. I wear it because it’s fun and artistic, but I also recognize the underlying issues that come with purchasing and wearing makeup.

·         Knowing how to exercise agency is all about being informed, making informed decisions. To reference Valenti, “she says that it’s important that we try to understand why we’re making the decisions we do and how they’re related to what we see around us.”

Cool Finds

So, I thank everyone who read my previous blog entry about Courtney Martin - and even better, she actually commented on it! What a wonderful gesture. It's nice to know that she speaks very fondly of her fans and followers.

So today, one of my co-workers found this really interesting and comical website pertaining to Emergency Contraception.

The website is titled, "Why The Fuck Should I Use EC?" and had my attention instantly. Funny how that works, huh? My favorite replies, by far, being "In the sober light of day you don't actually want to have his fucking children" and "Your boyfriend won't stop playing Wii (or xbox) long enough to help you with a fucking baby." So great. I think the F-bomb makes everything more serious, yet hilarious.

The other cool find that I wanted to share was a video from the National Youth Poetry Slam. The piece is titled, "This is For You," and is performed at the Sacred Grounds Cafe in Arcata, CA, by Isaac Miller and Ulises Dorantes. They were finalists back in 2005, and I know, I know... it's so outdated, but it's so inspiring. Check it out.

Courtney E. Martin

Tonight, in honor of National Women's History month, the Women's Center on campus, along with the Women's Studies department, showcased Courtney E. Martin as a keynote speaker. Courtney recently authored the book, "Do It Anyway: The New Generation of Activists," and was here to speak about it.I also had the pleasure of meeting her and having an actual conversation! She was so wonderfully down to earth and friendly. I was in complete shock when she didn't walk away right after our introduction and initiated our conversation.

 

If you haven't read the book, and to be honest, I haven't yet (although I was able to snag a copy and will be starting it tonight!), the main point of her book that she tries to convey is that activism is always ever changing. Activism is a complex project that can be rewarding, yet completely overwhelming at the same time. She goes on to explain that she wrote this book because it was something she needed to read - a resource she claims might in aid in the process of determining how effective one actually is in comparison to their activism.

Courtney made many interesting and thought provoking statements as she profiled eight different people, all of which are the core inspiration for this book she wrote.I won't go into much detail about the people she chose to write about, but I will list them for you.

They are as follows:

Rachel Corrie (International Solidarity Movement)
Maricela Guzman (Service Women's Action Network)
Emily Abt (Pureland Pictures)
Nia Martin Robinson (Environmental Justice Climate Coalition)
Raul Diaz (Homeboy Industries)
Rosario Dawson (Rotolatino/Lower Eastside Girls Club)
Tyrone Bouchan (Resource Generation/Aorta Collective)
Dena Simmons (Urban Society Science Academy)

Along with some general information about each activist, is the lessons in which Courtney has learned from them. Lessons such as:

- We take global suffering personally.
- Self interest is at the heart of some of the most inspired activism.
- The lines between those being served and those serving are being blurred

Not only was Courtney a huge inspiration, but when I was sitting there, I sort of lost myself in her presentation. I felt an odd sense of contentment, as if I knew this is where my soul was; where it's been the entire time - in activism. I left that presentation feeling completely re-energized and invigorated, knowing that I want to do something great with my life, and that every failure I may encounter along the way to greatness, will be a vital part of my success.

Courtney reminded me that, as an activist, I need to focus on what I can accomplish day to day, and that if I were to look at the "big picture," I would be right in feeling a sense of overwhelming helplessness, as one person cannot be responsible for "saving the world," as she put it.

Courtney re-ignited my passion, and in turn, made me realize all my accomplishments, and failures alike, up until this point in my life. I have so much to learn and so many more opportunities that I have to look forward to. Courtney left me in a state of happiness, she left me inspired; I left that auditorium knowing that I want to make sure I'm as effective as possible.

Courtney left me with a quote, "Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive," and I can't help but think that it's my passion; my drive for feminism, my understanding of myself in regards to women's studies and gender issues that make me alive. Feminism, and all that it encompasses, is my drive for life - my light.

If you're at all interested in her book, "Do It Anyway: The Next Generation of Activists," I would recommend checking it out. I can assure you that you wouldn't be disappointed.

Spoiler Alert: "Hall Pass," and why it's a terrible movie

So, this is literally another spoiler alert. If you had planned on seeing the movie "Hall Pass," then don't read this - well, unless you want to. Ha.

Just a few minutes ago, I got home from the theater and I'm mad. If you haven't yet heard of this movie, or seen any TV commercials about it, here's the trailer:

Aside from the obvious humor, this movie, in my opinion, had an underlying message: marriage isn't anything to be taken seriously. Women's hopes and dreams are getting married and having children. They live out their dreams all the time. Ohhh, but men on the other hand, they don't get to live out their dreams. They don't get to "bone" any woman they want, whenever they want... because that's the ultimate man's dream, isn't it? Most poor men never get to live out that dream though, do they? They're overbearing, "neurotic" wives wouldn't ever allow that, right? Wrong.

Then "Hall Pass" was made. Every man's dream is to have a week hall pass in life, right? To have the right; the privilege to do whatever they want for one week... whatever they want. Imagine what that would do to a marriage?

According to the movie, a supposed "hall pass" could save a marriage. This movie made marriage seem like a chore. Men eventually lose interest in their wives, resent having children, and can't "control" their "manly" urges to look at other women while with their wives. Sex is a chore to the women and they'd rather pretend they were sleeping that actually have sex with their husbands.

This movie made me mad.

I understand that this movie was making fun and playing off of every stereotype that was ever created about marriage, and I also understand that there are situations, such as those shown in the movie, but there's a much larger issue here.

These men in the movie weren't satisfied with the women they had. No. They wanted young, sexy, easy women. Of course. I lost count of the shots of women's asses, breasts, stomachs, legs, etc. There was actually a point during the movie that I was taking notes. Yeah, I'm the kind of person that takes notes during a movie, but that aside, men are being told that this type of behavior is all right, and acceptable!

The husbands in that movie were seen as incompetent, irresponsible, and child-like. The first thing I thought of was Sarah Haskins and the skit she did titled, "Doofy Husbands." Sarah basically goes on to explain that the media portrays married men as "husbands that can't do stuff.... he was so cool and then he got married, and now he's slightly dumber than a dog."

These men in the movie, "Hall Pass," reminisce about their pre-married lives;  how much fun they had before they were tied down, all the chicks they slept with, and how hot and manly their bodies were. According to this movie, marriage ruins not only relationships, but can really "demasculinize" a man. Oh, dear.

The entire movie was riddled with stereotypes that made it so predictable. The ending was as expected - the wives took the husbands back after their "hall passes," and everything was fine. Everyone was happy and all that jazz... typical. Just to add, as well, one of the wives had sex with a complete stranger, as well as her husband sleeping with a women he barely knew. And the only reason I'm saying that is because I would hate for anyone to read this and think I'm sexist or leaving any part of the movie out. Believe me, I've taken every part of that movie into consideration when writing this post, and yes, you're right - most of this was written entirely out of anger.

Usually I would be mad at feminism for "ruining" this movie for me. Sometimes I wish that I could just be dumb and not understand social stereotypes, gender roles, or feminism in general. Just for one night. I mean, can you blame me?

I realize that I shouldn't be so upset over such a silly movie, but stuff like this needs to be talked about. So, if you're an avid feminist, I highly suggest not going to see this movie, or better yet, if you wish to add to my critique, please, I insist that you go see it.

"The Digital Divide" - and how some are going about mending it

The digital divide, for some people, is a foreign concept. It was to me.

For those still unfamiliar with it, the digital divide can be defined "as the gap between people with effective access to digital and information technology and those with very limited or no access at all." This concept/idea is often times referred to as the "digital gap," as well.

Some researchers have placed the blame for the digital divide on the differences in income level. As seen in a study by Jim Jansen, Senior Fellow with the Pew Research Center Internet and American Life Project, the results are startling. (see figure 1)

As the results show, those with a lower combined income (<$30,000 a year), are less likely to be using the internet at home or on the use of their cell phones. And as seen through the results, those who earn a combined of $75,000, or higher, a year use the internet more frequently at home and on their cell phones.

Now, those that earn $30,000 a year, obviously, do not have the means to have the most up-to-date computer software, or even DSL, even though not having DSL these days seems far-fetched and barbaric. Also, those with a lower combined income may not be able to afford "smart phones" with readily available internet. Also, those who have smart phones generally pay more through their cell phone company for having the internet as a feature. Those that earn lower yearly incomes may not be able to even afford to own a cell phone, let alone extra bonus features. And as seen in figure 1 cell phone frequented internet is more common than using the internet from your home computer.

Basically, the more money you make a year, the more available the internet is to you, and the more you'll use it. For whatever purpose.

But, there's a brighter side to this. According to an article published in January of last year, "the non-profit John S. and James L. Knight Foundation awarded $5 million in grants for Detroit to develop for various projects, including the expansion of freely-available internet access... CTN will also add another $100,000 and look to secure federal grants to help residents without computers obtain one."

The project is expected to provide more than 4,000 Detroit residents with internet access and is expected to help in the process of job searching and posting resumes online, helping the Detroit job market and the unemployed. The project began in the beginning of January. Keep your eyes open for up-to-date information about the project's progress in the coming news out of Detroit.

Also, there's a website, InternetforEveryone.org, which is a movement that is committed to connecting everyone to a fast, open, and affordable internet.

Please watch the video below for more information and to see how you can help bridge the digital divide.

Facebook and Gender

Ever curious about the demographics of Facebook? Who's using it and who isn't? Facebook is the fastest growing social networking site to this day, and I, along with the majority of people, have no idea the statistics involved. 

According to the article, "Got Facebook? Investigating What's Social About Social Media," it was reported that, "compared to females, males are more likely to list their political and religious views" on their 'about me' section of their profile. Surprisingly enough, there are more female users of Facebook than there are of males, as can be seen in both current college students and college graduates.

So, I must pose a question - why might this be? Why do you think that males are more apt to disclose more personal, controversial information about themselves?

As a Facebook user myself, I must admit that I do disclose most of my personal information, regarding religious and political views, so I fall into the percentage of women that do share that information, so I couldn't really give you a rough idea of why more men than women do.

But, feminism might have that answer that I fail to supply you with.


According to feminism, patriarchy may have a huge impact on most of what's being posted on Facebook. Patriarchy, as defined on Wikipedia, is "a social system in which the role of the males as the primary authority figure is central to social organization, and where fathers hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of  male rule and privilege, and is dependent on female subordination."

So, therefore, coming from a radical feminist perspective, one might assume that men feel a certain entitlement when it comes to sharing more personal, political, and controversial information with the world of Facebook.

I am in no way claiming this is the sole reason for the unbalanced gender representation of information posted to Facebook. This is just an idea, a theory, if you will. Or maybe just some food for thought.